When God Calls Us to Grieve: My Journey of Healing and Hope

Sometimes our plans and God's plans are on completely different paths. That's exactly where I found myself in January 2018, fresh off a 9-month church planting journey in Argentina with my one-year-old and then-husband.

I returned home thinking I knew what needed fixing - the loss of my marriage and my career. But God had a different plan. He wanted to work on my heart and soul.

I started with one-on-one counseling, but it was at the Restorable Retreat I attended in 2020 that things really started to shift. I went in hoping for a break from my everyday responsibilities. Instead, God met me there in ways I never expected.

Our leader, Jen Mininger, guided us through Psalm 23, "The Lord is my Shepherd." It hit me then - God is the restorer of our souls, and He wants us to live life abundantly. But here's the catch - it requires us to do some hard work.

We have to make a choice: face the tough stuff or keep numbing the pain. Jen taught us a powerful process: "Name IT - Grieve IT, How to walk through IT, IT doesn't say who I am - freedom, and IT will someday end - hope!"

Even at a recent Restorable Retreat I attended in 2022, I discovered there was still more to name and grieve. It reminded me of a sermon I heard by Pastor Jonathan Cleveland from Pulpit Rock Church about how God actually commands us to grieve (Joel 1 & 2). God wants us to sit with our pain, to bring it to Him. Pastor Cleveland pointed out that while grief is often an automatic response, the real challenge is intentionally being still and talking with God about what we might still be grieving. It could be about what hurts or what's still painful in our lives. And get this - he mentioned how God Himself grieves because of the sin in this world, and how even the earth grieves as the curse of sin entangles us all. Although this may be a heavy thought, there’s comfort in knowing we're not alone in our grief because God understands it.

As I intentionally grieved, I felt my heart ache. But with that ache came relief and healing. It's a continuous process, choosing to be still with God. Psalm 46:10 reminds us, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted above the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." In our fast-paced world, stillness is a precious gift we often overlook.

Psalm 23 shows us that God is always working to restore our souls. While our earthly needs might not always be met, our spiritual growth is guaranteed if we choose to walk with Him. For example, I may live with the chronic illness I have forever, but my hope isn't in physical healing alone. It's in becoming more like Jesus and sharing His love with others.

As 1 John 4:20 says, "We love each other because he loved us first." My prayer is that the love I've experienced from God overflows, allowing me to love others deeply.

So today, I want to encourage you: whatever you're facing, bring it to God. Choose to sit in stillness with Him. Allow Him to work on your heart and soul. It might not be easy, but I promise you, it's worth it. Because in the end, it's not about fixing our circumstances - it's about allowing God to transform us from the inside out.